From a noted therapist comes groundbreaking advice on reclaiming joy, fulfillment and individuality, with the help of a surprising source: children's classic The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.

"Real isn't how you are made...It's a thing that happens to you…Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes droop and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

The Velveteen Principles: A Guide to Becoming Real (October 2004, Health Communications, Inc., $14.95) weaves lessons from the popular children's book with the author's professional wisdom and personal anecdotes, and shows how becoming "Real" can foster self-confidence and self-esteem, and lead to happier relationships, more rewarding parenting, and more fulfilling careers.

Inspired by the hundreds of patients whose lives she has helped transform, Toni Raiten-D'Antonio believes that anyone can develop "self-empathy"--which allows us to look at ourselves less harshly, and accept flaws and limitations--and leads us down the path to becoming Real.

In today's relentlessly superficial world, the author writes, Americans have lost sight of the key to true happiness: we have forgotten how to be Real. "Becoming Real is the purpose of every kind of psychotherapy," Raiten-D'Antonio writes. "It is living in the moment with the deepest respect for yourself and for others. It is a way of thinking that allows us to express ourselves and experience life--including its stress, conflicts, sorrows and losses--with grace, kindness, and integrity."

In a warm and encouraging style laced with gentle humor, the author identifies 12 keys to becoming Real, with the promise that when you become Real, you will love and be loved with all your strengths and weaknesses, gifts and faults.